Puts Things Into Perpsective

This week, I was notified about a girl who is the younger sister of a DBU guy that we went to school with. She had suffered a miscarriage and my friend was asking me to pray for her. She has 4 or maybe 5 brothers...I was trying to count and I lost count! (I think that is how people will be when thinking about my kids!) Anyway, she was devastated, and the loss was a surprise as the pregnancy was going well. She has 3 little kids and is an excellent writer. Anyway, I prayed for her this week. She planned a memorial service for the baby and had to get special permission to take his remains from the hospital and her doctor was so kind to do make things happen so that she could bury her baby. Well, that same doctor made a mistake in performing her DNC....she almost died....she lost all of her small bowel. She narrowly escaped death....please read what she wrote today after being awake and alert for a few days. Wow...what a great attitude and what great forgiveness! Something to take to heart!

Here is what she wrote:

This has been a rough week, to say the least. You know that.

I am sitting here this morning, tired and a little cranky. In spite of the fact that I am eternally grateful to be alive, hospital living is hard. Now that I’ve crossed the threshold into ‘mobile patient’ I’m cranky that I can’t get comfortable in bed because of a huge crick that’s run rampant on my left side, I’m cranky that this NG tube (which is sucking the yucky out of my stomach) pinches my nose and hurts my throat, pushes mucous up to the point of gagging, and I have to unhook it whenever I want to get up. I’m trying to type with a big fat pulse taker on my finger. I practiced walking so much yesterday that I wore myself out. My brothers like to hear me complain because as Aaron (#1) so ungraciously put it “You know Audrea is feeling better when you hear her get a little surly.” And he chuckled, amused at his own wit. He got an eyeball roll from me.

It is nice to be able to think about these small irritants in light of the BIG TERRIBLE. I have not yet been able to grieve the loss of my baby; I’ve not yet been able to fully wrap my mind around the difference in my body, the loss of my small bowel, and what that means for our future.

Before I came into the hospital for the DNC, I begged God to turn my weeping into joy. I woke up sometime Thursday and saw most of my brothers standing around my bed with my husband, and I was confused. It wasn’t until Friday and my brother, Elliott, flew in (#2 orthopaedic surgeon), and matter-of-factly explained to me what went on and the severity of my case, that realization sunk in. My joy certainly overran my anguish.

I could be dead, and if God had chosen to take me, I was ready. However, because my babies are so young, I’m grateful to have a few more years with them.

This terrible injury has been freeing. Freeing, in that it was easy for me to forgive the doctor, and freeing because I have a terrible urgency to share life, to share Christ’s hope, and to get on board with God’s plan for me as soon as I can get well.

Apparently, when I first woke, I couldn’t speak, so I started writing in my family’s hands. Someone wised up and found me a little notepad. With a foggy mind and a shaky hand, there was still determination when I wrote to my husband about my doctor. “Tell him I forgive him. And give him big hug.” He did both.

Who am I to hold a grudge against the man who fought for us to take our baby home to bury? I am not God. I am perfectly fallible, too. Mistakes and terrible accidents happen. God already knew about this one long before I ever came into the world. He already has a plan to bring beauty and honor and glory to his Holy name through my story, my challenges, and my pain. I am so grateful, so very grateful that my doctor understood our pain and wanted to help. My baby is resting beneath a little shade tree in the beautiful box I picked out. If the hospital had has its usual way, my precious child would be hazardous waste. There’s the tragedy.

Things will be different; they already are.

I had not seen my children since I left them on Wednesday morning. They came to see me Sunday evening and I wasn’t prepared for their response. They were all scared of me. Scarlett even declared, “that is not my mommy.” I broke down in waves of tears. I know the big gonzo tube emerging from my nose is scary, I know they are so little, but it hurt so much I couldn’t hold back the emotion. While they stared at me, confused, I cried. When they ran away, I cried some more.

Yesterday was better. They’d gone home and taped straws to their noses to practice being like me. They weren’t nearly as scared and Gideon did give me a hug before he left. It will get better, but this is where the sorrow hits sharp and deep. I miss my babies. I want to hold them again.

Turtle Time

You never know what kind of critters we will find around here! Tonight John was clearing out a flower bed and came across this Three-toed Box Turtle. The kids were excited to meet him...even Bryan!

Savannah's camp at Glen Lake

Savannah took all of these pictures and designed a slideshow....great job!

HSV....LAST DAY

On Monday we packed up and cleaned up the condo. Whitney wanted desperately to attend a camp this summer. We could not find one that we could afford this year, and our church doesn't offer one for her age group. Savannah was getting to attend TWO camps and that made Whitney desire a camp even more. After giving it some thought, we decided to ask Aunt Rosie if she would be willing to host Whitney for a few days and give her a "camp" experience. She checked with Uncle Bobby and they decided it would be fun and asked about her coming the week of VBS. That happened to be the week following the 4th of July, so we decided to make a weekend trip and then leave Whitney with Bob and Rosie for the week at CAMP CALLICOTT! Whitney was thrilled! The most economical way to get her home was to FLY HER, so tomorrow (Saturday) she will be flying home ALL ALONE. She is our adventurous child and is soooo excited. We received postcards from her this week and she is having a blast. I talked to her on Wednesday, and she told me that she missed me but that she didn't want to come home! She was giddy with excitement telling me all that she was doing! So here's a shout out to John's Aunt and Uncle for hosting our Whitney this week and giving her a "camp" and also giving her lots of one-on-one time that she RARELY gets in this crazy busy house!!!

HSV...DAY THREE

We got up and got ready for church in our matchy-matchy 4th of July attire. We enjoyed meeting the nice people at Uncle Bobby and Aunt Rosie's church. They did a good job leading worship. The kids enjoyed going to their class after the song service.

We went to lunch at The Callicotts' house and then John too the 4 older kids back to the pool to defend his title in the BIG SPLASH contest! He won FIRST place this year....woo-hoo! Bryan and I hung out at the condo.



We all rested and headed to Bob and Rosie's for dinner and to go catch the shuttle for the fireworks...Bryan's first 4th of July...he loved the fireworks! It was a beautiful show. We visited with the people around us and some random boy even helped himself to a big part of our kids' funnel cake! They danced to the music that was being played by the DJ and they blew bubbles and ran around...it was fun!!!

HSV....DAY TWO

We got up on Saturday morning and headed to the marina to participate in the canoe and paddle boat races. We were planning to just do the paddleboats, but Blayne really wanted to do the canoes, so John obliged and they raced...and they won 2nd place!!!! (I wasn't there for the race, so sorry, no pictures!) I did, however, get pictures of the prize: a blow up frog for Blayne and a 12 pack of DP for John (actually, he was being sweet and thinking of me!) We all participated in the paddle boat races....OH MY WORD!!!! That race is MUCH harder than it looks. You have to race down and get a little ducky with a small net and race back. Blayne was my partner and his feet would slip off of the pedals and he would make me come to a complete stop when he would remount his feet! My legs felt like JELLO when we were done. We also had a paddleboat with the rudder gear thing that was messed up. It would spin around and you would have to think in backward reverse to get it going in the correct direction. Uncle Bobby got the same boat and experienced the problem too! We all did well competing, but it was John and Reagan who won FIRST place! John was serious about his competitions this year! So, Reagan picked out a beach ball and John got a 12 pack of Coke! Fun times!

That afternoon, we enjoyed a picnic at the pool and the refreshing water. They had the waterslide set up and John practiced for the BIG slash competition that would be the next day. Reagan did the giant waterslide ONCE and then chickened out the next time...I think it was because there was a cute lifeguard and she wanted him to come get her! She also attempted the diving board, but did aid a 180 after standing at the edge and looking into the water. It was a nice refreshing time at the pool.

After a quick nap for Reagan, and some relaxing for the big kids, we headed over to Bob and Rosie's for dinner. We had chicken fajitas and they were delicious! John was going to be playing in the church service on Sunday with Bob and Rosie and their praise team, so there was some reheasing that needed to be done. It was a sweet time of singing and listening to Uncle Bobby play the guitar. He is very talented. I loved hearing my kids singing the praise songs and the patriotic songs that were to be sung on Sunday for the 4th of July service. They all enjoyed visiting with Sam, and we took a nice walk in their neighborhood.

HSV...DAY ONE

We drove 5 1/2 hours to Hot Springs Village, Arkansas, to see these two fun relatives, Uncle Bobby and Aunt Rosie Callicott. We only made one stop on the way and that was for lunch at David Beards Catfish King! (good ole East Texas!) When we travel like this, it makes me realize what good travelers our children are....no car sickness, no crying, no fussy baby, not needing to stop and potty! AWESOME!

Reagan was thrilled to give them a tour of our three story condo. We got a great cardio workout during our stay. John, Bryan and I stayed on the bottom floor and the other four kids were on the top floor!!! They were thrilled to each have a small flat screen tv in their rooms....with Cable!!! (we don't have cable television at home) The owner also left a plate of goodies for us to enjoy...and we DID!







For supper, we went to The Shack....we had visited this joint on our last trip to HSV...it is a must stop. Old Fashioned burgers and shakes. We enjoyed a game of "I Spy" while we waited for our food. Blayne and Whitney were impressed with the french fries that were the size of their heads! Savannah and Whitney also did some hand jive while we waited. And Bryan, well, he was just cute being his sweet self!

Coming Soon...4th in HSV and Camp Callicott